Post No 50.

Hello its party time its post number 50, everyones here Jackass, my dad even that vulture from post 48. Look at everyone I mean look at no one.. WHAT NO ONE!!! Something gives me the feeling Jackass did this or rather. Some writing on the wall saying "I kidnapped your guests You'll never know who I am, signed Jackass" does. (Meanwhile in the hideout) You know what I like on my pizzas right. "Yeah I'll phone em now, one doughnut please just a doughnut. Where to send to well look Jackass I really don't wanna say this." "Go on." "I'll tell you where not to send this Paraguay. "See that went well now phone the police." "Do the police take orders for doughnuts??"
"They do now" "Just cause you say it does it make it true." "I dunno ask that guy." "(Jimi Hendrix playin Voodoo child.) "What the hell is Jimi Hendrix doing next to you?" "We were mates from school weren't we Jimi. Jimi? JIMI?" "Wait thats just a sock on the end of your hand." "ITS MR SOCKO TO YOU. JEFF WHEN YOU'RE AT HOME MR. SOCKO WHEN YOUR IN THE OFFICE!!" "I'm not at home." "You're not at the office either cause you smell. I think." "Look can you just hold us hostage on webcam." "Not at all to the cabmobile." Don't you mean the cab." "Look can we change actors I don't like this guy." Director: Okay this is who we got someone who wants to kill you, Tom Cruise and Girls Aloud." "GIRLS ALOUD WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING HERE. Ehh theyre hot I choose them. I mean I choose you Pikachu." " No you don't you mean I choose them." "You still here?"
Where the hell could my guests be? Oh I'm sure its not the place that says Jackasses secret hideout on the front of it in massive writing. I'm going in. (Five minutes later) What kind of name is that for a strip club? Where could he be. Cuts to Jackass in mcdonalds. Would you like some burnt hostages and friends with that. Take this scratch card you could win a memeber of girls aloud. "Arent you the guy who held me hostage and made me ask the police for doughnuts?" "No, I'm Captain Cab who are you."
That could be his job description weirdo selling burgers. Oh well I need friends. Hows bout this guy detective Mark. In detective Marks office. "Hello little boy I'm here collecting picnic baskets." What the hells going on." Oh I'll never find them. Hey theres a kid on the sidewalk who dropped his ice cream. Hey kid I'll get you a new Ice cream if you give me the location of a madman. "A new ice cream and that bear thats following you." "Did someone mention picnic baskets?" Oh god not you. Where could he be. "So Kelvin Kline I call these trousers what do you think? "Get out of my sight."
One more kids cartoon rip off and I sware I'll move house. "Jonny D, did you know my wings are like a shield of steel." What the hell is this who framed Roger Rabbit?
Meanwhile about a centimetre away from Jonny D. "Money for the poor and for the sock." "I'm a sock and I'm desperate." Here you go lowlife. "Oh wow 10p ohh my god that is absolutely delicious. Wait a minute thats Jackass. "Wait a minute thats Jonny D, Oh Jonny D I'm sorry I ran over your dog." You ran over my dog? "Cut. Take 2." "Jonny D I'm sorry I ran over your dog. "I have a dog?" "Oh it must be that lady who threw herself of that bridges dog." Okaaay that was disturbing. Can I have my guests back. "Sure why not?"
Tonight we're gonna party like its 1999 but its not.
50th peace out,
Jonny D