Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Preschool D

If you are one of the people wodering what I was like in preschool. Then You will be lucky, I will guide you through a DVD I made at 3. Ok then, here we go, well there's I'm not an arabs mum. There goes his dad, sheesh, hat sure was a bloody mess. Oh look there's a tower I made, Oh Argus kicked it dow Luckily I have a certain BB Gun and a water pistol. Nothing better to wash off fake bullets than water, except mud which I think is what kind of egg I just layed. OH CRAP, GOOD GOD I HAD A MESSY LIFE!!!
(vomiting noises) Peace bluuuuurgggghhh,
Jonny D BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Sir. Rodenta.


Well I found a cute rat, in local pets, I traded My shed door. His name is Sir. Rodenta, I hope Blarge the goldfish isn't jealous. He seems to be making fish morse code. "You think you're so big because you have tails, well I'm making a stand for the fins!" I'm not an arab got a cat, I often replace it's milk with scum water. Well Everybody he is so cute, cuter than Geraldina*.
Peace out Sir. Rodenta says peace out too, Blarge makes goldfish swares,
Jonny D.
*1. Geraldina is Arguses pet rabbit.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Jonny D experience quadruple anniversary

Its a massive party everyones here and most importantly The bands playing, thats right. THE JONNY D EXPERIENCE. I'm lead vocals and lead guitar, I'm not an arabs on bass and backing vocals, and Freddy Ts on drums and screams JONNY D!! You might have heard no.2 singles such as "Ginger haze" and "Elevator to hell" Kenny G will be playing such no.237580486032 hits as "I don't sing in this damn song" and "Please make Jonny D typing the names of songs in speech marks." Steve will be doing a musical on nothing other than BRIMSTONE. Argus the tormentor will do such stunts as Me throwing bricks at his crotch, and Seeing how long he can last without going to the toilet on laxatives. That is going to be pretty damn sick. Moon Unit will tag along and do a comic act. Probably mostly about his dumb name, but it's gonna be swinging at none other than the lodge, minnesotas community centre.
Happy peace out to me,
Happy Jonny D,
I can't stop saying happy,
Someone shoot me.

A WHAT????!!!

I just found out Jonny D is a double barrel name my full name is Jonny-D Jefferson. Damn, This is perfect Jonny D LTD will be laughing at me, like argus but I can shoot him. Ok just get to your office before anyone notices, I think I'll have a cappucino before I get there. Oh hey Argus, erm SHOOT!, uh oh you took my gun. LEGGIT!!! Faster than speeding light I will through my cappucino at Argus and (woosh) damn missed, ah my office. Get in! Phew things nearly got ugly, (argus smashes face on window) Woo Hoo. A cigars what I need. Throw it in the air and swallow it. SWALLOW!! CRAP!! i'm gonna die tonight.
Peace out to all my double barreled friends,
Jonny-D Jefferson.

Directing manic

Hello, I have been asked to direct, "The dummies guide to directing." It's a mystery how I got it, well here we are at day 1 and as Orson Welles said. "Hello, I'm Orson Welles. I'm not an arab is the producer, argus the erm, milk monitor? Freddy T the presenter and Kenny G writing the soundtrack. Well I'm in the highest position of them all. Log date 5 minutes after I started directing. Well It's time for lunch break, and steve is the dinner ladie/catbert like freak. Well, the dinner tastes like dog vomit, no it's not one of those awful jokes where it turns out to be dog vomit. Dog vomit doesn't have a crust or chicken filling. Yep, you guessed it chicken pie. Now getting back to the directors chair, itcan fit directors on in 2 different tv shows how cool is that? Not very is the answer, at all. Well day one has ended and its a disaster, except for the fact I'm not an arab got bitten by cerberus, that was kind of fun. Cerberus was just Steve in a dog suit, with cannibal teeth. Well I got my check, holy mother of custard toothpaste. I got paid.... IN BLOODY MONOPOLY MONEY!!!
Seriously cheesed off no more peace out,
Jonny "Damn the tv shows about directing" D

say goodbye

Well here I am The carboard box has always been nice but hurricane barry destroyed it. However My cool quiz on me gave me an idea there was a question saying where do I live.
One of the wrong answers was the apartment where friends was shot, now I am living there. I managed to put Li'l mommas laxatives, in the guards coffee and hey presto yeah presto over here. Jerk. Oh well I am in the phoebes bedroom. Im not an arabs in the place where they shot the west wing. Argus the tormentor is in my cardboard box. I called it "Trekker" even though he hates star trek. And is so far screaming, for more champagne. DAMN BUGGER!!
Peace out, even though the bedroom door is closed,
Jonny D.

Friday, May 19, 2006

The dumbest ads ever sent to me


Hello, Are you not enjoying life at it's fullest? Well then maybe you should try suicide. Warning will cause certain death.
Our new wasing powder works in 3 easy ways. 1. Leave clothes in dryer for 24 hours. 2. Call it crap and complain to yourself that you should get a refund. 3. Buy a much better product.
Our brand new bith control pills are bound to make you pregnant. Warning, contains nicotine.
Well there they are,
Lots of crap,
the j to to the o to the n to the eh I can't keep this up, Jonny D

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

10 things to do if you are so bored you are watching newgrounds

1. Put an online quiz on http://www.coolquiz.com/ I've put several quizzes on.
2. Go on runescape annoy people, get a girlfriend, boyfriend, orcfriend etc.
3. Send a prank email like sending a picture of a raw steak to vegetarians weekly*.
4. Send me £40.00.
5. Repeat the same old idiotic, paranoid stuff you do*.

*1. Vegetarians weekly probably does not exist.
*2. I could not care less about doing another five things to do.
Peace out,
Jonny D.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

WOO HOO


Well here I am being cast for the role of Jonny D I have previously failed 100 times to play the part of me but just you see. 1 hour later well I got 0 out of 10 I normally get minus 50 out of 10. Oh dear god hells messenger steve played me hes gonna be in my dreams tonight. Well at least I got the part of a drug addict. Said they never seen acting so goog I replied "Acting? I'm not acting."
Peace out, or rather all go nuts and kill,
Jonny D