Reducement For Anything.

You may be tired of all these other cleaning products which claim to clean 100% of all stains, but only Clean freak gets rid of all stains, and press this button at the back and you get a fresh burst of Kelvin Kline's obsession for Cleaning Appliances. That hurt my eyes. "OK, we're out, great work Jonny." Is there an eyewash station anywhere "No but your assistant is hold a sieve filled with hot water to dip your eyes in." Look Steve, man, why'd you put it through a sieve. "You promised me some cigars if I did this, plus I'm a crap assistant." You sure are Steve you sure are. Hey Ted. "My name is Toby." Right, when do I get my paycheck? "I don't know you're a good man Jonny, so I'll tell you what, talk to that financier over there and he'll tell you." Fancier? "Piss off." OK.
(Jonny walks up to the financier.)
Look, Mr Financier. "Yes." When do I get my paycheck. "All of your paychecks are set to your agent, I do believe he is a Mr. Rich, Richie Rich." Err yeah he's right over there. "What that one socializing with the director?" Yes. "Then go talk to him." Alright I will. Richie how ya doin' now. "Who are you." "Look Jonny D I really think you should pi-" "This man he's the perfect man we've been looking for. Identical physique, hair color, eye color, height. Jonny D how you would you like to be a character in our new animated remake of he cartoon series-" "How can you have the identical physique for a cartoon series?" "Shut up- in the remake of Dr. N!Godatu!!!!!" There is a long pause. What in the name of hell is Dr. N!Godatu?? "I'll talk more as soon as we get there. D you want the job?" Sure.
The next day.
"Jonny D you'll get to play everyones favorites. The Carlisles, Bill Wallhead, Mr. Marsh. Oh yeah you'll also play Elaine." Right. I don't know what this show is about. "Basically it's about Dr. Janice N!Godatu voiced by Kerry Dustin from THE die hard dracula. Theres someone called Pat she somehow comes into it. Shes voiced by Stephanie Nielson from Manos: The hands of fate. Action!"

Act I

Dr. N!Godatu: Hello, as you know, I'm Dr. Janice N!Godatu. (coughs). Ah, I seem to have caught a cold. (Hitting the intercom) Elaine, call the Carlisles. There's something wrong with the Fish Tank. Tell them it's an emer(cough)gency. (looking at the fish bobbing vertically up and down) I don't think fish are supposed to do that!

Act II

Dr. N!Godatu: Oh, dear...

Elaine on intercom: Dr. N!Godatu, the Carlisles are here.

Dr. N!Godatu: Send them in Elaine.

Carlisle Bro: (coming through the door, speaking in unison) What seems to be the trouble?

Dr. N!Godatu: I'm glad you're here! Look, the fish are...

Carlisle Bro: Something is wrong with you're fish tank! That'll be $67.50! Ho, Ho, Ha, Ha, Ha!

"Thats a wrap." Yeah I'm going back to my crappy commercials.