My ways

Ever wonder how I was such a musical Jenius? Well it all started one day in year 4 Someone punched me really hard so I raised my arm, so they counted me down as wanting to do the stylophone class. Damn, damn them all, so I didn't have anything to practce with so I just stole this thing the stevie wonderler. All you have to do is hit on the floor and play the keys it's easy it's like the room of punishments keyoard. I think he tried to kill that zeppelin did land on my decoy didn't it? Yes, so I killed the ***** and nearly got it but you can't hit a person with shades. I took the class and thehy taught us how to sing I learnt how to play the guitar and at first I thought it was a violin Jimmy Page gave me a £2,000 quid bill, my uncle lives on the street now. hen I formed a band a parody band we made: Mr. Moran, dinner and the real captain cab, I teamed up with Jackass. It was a success then I made the Jonny D experience and thats it. And the picture has the guy odf the KFC chicken, I think his names coneol sandman. Well I think any way, he met the croatian president me and Jackass are good mates now, except for that story time post and him revealing the sacred song but yeh, were dead cool.
Jonny D.

Story time

Hello kids gather around, today we will here a story about love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. Ok then, It all began 2 years ago in a magical land called stoke and... screw this real stuff. There was a man called Joey and also a girl lets just call her Nowell... they met, Joey said. "Look if you had one shot to sit on your lazy butt" Nowell replied "And make you }:~: off just like I wanted" " So how about broadway? Thats allways good." She said yes. So they were outside the porno theatre or "Broadway"... they went inside she went to get some popcorn meanwhile Someone came back looking just like Nowell so Joey snogged her for lets just say a world record. And realised it was the geography teacher the geography teacher replied " I'm 24 years old I like that."
To be continued.

The Jonny D cup

Hello, to celebrate the world cup the Jonny D cup has been organised, it has 24 teams. Its going to be ace to keep track of scores what happened http://forthecup.blogspot.com see you and come on the lodge!

last goth buisness on the left part 3

Well there was no point in tying up I'm not an arab when he got hit by the "Tranquility and snooze (ray)." Well they want the blueprints for the new Cigar entitled cigarna, but I'll I did was a robotic dustbin. Either that or a dog, actually its a dustbin controlled dog, but now they have a new gadget called "SHUT UP MUTT." Then they're releasing the video game "SHUT UP MUTT found a bone, which turned out to be an autographed bone from the singer of Lordi." Catchy title, god save me if not batman and if not him then I'm not an arab.
1 day later... the guy on the picture of woo hoo saved me, the worthless pile of turd.
FREED And out which equals peace out,
Jonny D.

Attempting to kill a goth part 2

This is Jonny D on his laptop being held hostage, I've never been held hostage before. It feels like a unique experience to get outside and well not get outside, more just die. Batman will save me, even if he is fictional which hes not, I can remember two face why was he called that? "Because he had two faces jerk!" Yes I'm not an arabs here he'll save me like he saved a drunk from a pile of sugar. And here we go yes yes YES Oh don't mind about that poisoned tranquilizer. Uh oh.
To be continued.
Peace out, the goths told me to get all the peace out,
Jonny D

Http://i-am-a-basket-case.blogspot.com

Hello, this is very bad. I was going to see a kiss reunion concert*, I'm not an arab took a photo and bam. I realised I was dressed as the stay puft marshmallow man. Then I got changed into my kiss costume he took a photo and bam. Goes on the front cover of goth weekly*. So here I am trying to steal, well terminate goth weekly. Because I don't think its possible I'll proboably need the jolly green giant. I hired Al Pacino,
slightly mistaking him for al capone, slightly realising he was dead. So here I go. OH NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
To be continued.
Peace NOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUT,
Johnny D.
*1 yes the drummer in kiss is dead.
*2 Theres something about me and a certain magazine weekly.

Preschool D

If you are one of the people wodering what I was like in preschool. Then You will be lucky, I will guide you through a DVD I made at 3. Ok then, here we go, well there's I'm not an arabs mum. There goes his dad, sheesh, hat sure was a bloody mess. Oh look there's a tower I made, Oh Argus kicked it dow Luckily I have a certain BB Gun and a water pistol. Nothing better to wash off fake bullets than water, except mud which I think is what kind of egg I just layed. OH CRAP, GOOD GOD I HAD A MESSY LIFE!!!
(vomiting noises) Peace bluuuuurgggghhh,
Jonny D BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE.

Sir. Rodenta.

Well I found a cute rat, in local pets, I traded My shed door. His name is Sir. Rodenta, I hope Blarge the goldfish isn't jealous. He seems to be making fish morse code. "You think you're so big because you have tails, well I'm making a stand for the fins!" I'm not an arab got a cat, I often replace it's milk with scum water. Well Everybody he is so cute, cuter than Geraldina*.
Peace out Sir. Rodenta says peace out too, Blarge makes goldfish swares,
Jonny D.
*1. Geraldina is Arguses pet rabbit.

The Jonny D experience quadruple anniversary

Its a massive party everyones here and most importantly The bands playing, thats right. THE JONNY D EXPERIENCE. I'm lead vocals and lead guitar, I'm not an arabs on bass and backing vocals, and Freddy Ts on drums and screams JONNY D!! You might have heard no.2 singles such as "Ginger haze" and "Elevator to hell" Kenny G will be playing such no.237580486032 hits as "I don't sing in this damn song" and "Please make Jonny D typing the names of songs in speech marks." Steve will be doing a musical on nothing other than BRIMSTONE. Argus the tormentor will do such stunts as Me throwing bricks at his crotch, and Seeing how long he can last without going to the toilet on laxatives. That is going to be pretty damn sick. Moon Unit will tag along and do a comic act. Probably mostly about his dumb name, but it's gonna be swinging at none other than the lodge, minnesotas community centre.
Happy peace out to me,
Happy Jonny D,
I can't stop saying happy,
Someone shoot me.

A WHAT????!!!

I just found out Jonny D is a double barrel name my full name is Jonny-D Jefferson. Damn, This is perfect Jonny D LTD will be laughing at me, like argus but I can shoot him. Ok just get to your office before anyone notices, I think I'll have a cappucino before I get there. Oh hey Argus, erm SHOOT!, uh oh you took my gun. LEGGIT!!! Faster than speeding light I will through my cappucino at Argus and (woosh) damn missed, ah my office. Get in! Phew things nearly got ugly, (argus smashes face on window) Woo Hoo. A cigars what I need. Throw it in the air and swallow it. SWALLOW!! CRAP!! i'm gonna die tonight.
Peace out to all my double barreled friends,
Jonny-D Jefferson.

Directing manic

Hello, I have been asked to direct, "The dummies guide to directing." It's a mystery how I got it, well here we are at day 1 and as Orson Welles said. "Hello, I'm Orson Welles. I'm not an arab is the producer, argus the erm, milk monitor? Freddy T the presenter and Kenny G writing the soundtrack. Well I'm in the highest position of them all. Log date 5 minutes after I started directing. Well It's time for lunch break, and steve is the dinner ladie/catbert like freak. Well, the dinner tastes like dog vomit, no it's not one of those awful jokes where it turns out to be dog vomit. Dog vomit doesn't have a crust or chicken filling. Yep, you guessed it chicken pie. Now getting back to the directors chair, itcan fit directors on in 2 different tv shows how cool is that? Not very is the answer, at all. Well day one has ended and its a disaster, except for the fact I'm not an arab got bitten by cerberus, that was kind of fun. Cerberus was just Steve in a dog suit, with cannibal teeth. Well I got my check, holy mother of custard toothpaste. I got paid.... IN BLOODY MONOPOLY MONEY!!!
Seriously cheesed off no more peace out,
Jonny "Damn the tv shows about directing" D

say goodbye

Well here I am The carboard box has always been nice but hurricane barry destroyed it. However My cool quiz on me gave me an idea there was a question saying where do I live.
One of the wrong answers was the apartment where friends was shot, now I am living there. I managed to put Li'l mommas laxatives, in the guards coffee and hey presto yeah presto over here. Jerk. Oh well I am in the phoebes bedroom. Im not an arabs in the place where they shot the west wing. Argus the tormentor is in my cardboard box. I called it "Trekker" even though he hates star trek. And is so far screaming, for more champagne. DAMN BUGGER!!
Peace out, even though the bedroom door is closed,
Jonny D.

The dumbest ads ever sent to me

Hello, Are you not enjoying life at it's fullest? Well then maybe you should try suicide. Warning will cause certain death.
Our new wasing powder works in 3 easy ways. 1. Leave clothes in dryer for 24 hours. 2. Call it crap and complain to yourself that you should get a refund. 3. Buy a much better product.
Our brand new bith control pills are bound to make you pregnant. Warning, contains nicotine.
Well there they are,
Lots of crap,
the j to to the o to the n to the eh I can't keep this up, Jonny D

10 things to do if you are so bored you are watching newgrounds

1. Put an online quiz on http://www.coolquiz.com/ I've put several quizzes on.
2. Go on runescape annoy people, get a girlfriend, boyfriend, orcfriend etc.
3. Send a prank email like sending a picture of a raw steak to vegetarians weekly*.
4. Send me £40.00.
5. Repeat the same old idiotic, paranoid stuff you do*.

*1. Vegetarians weekly probably does not exist.
*2. I could not care less about doing another five things to do.
Peace out,
Jonny D.

WOO HOO

Well here I am being cast for the role of Jonny D I have previously failed 100 times to play the part of me but just you see. 1 hour later well I got 0 out of 10 I normally get minus 50 out of 10. Oh dear god hells messenger steve played me hes gonna be in my dreams tonight. Well at least I got the part of a drug addict. Said they never seen acting so goog I replied "Acting? I'm not acting."
Peace out, or rather all go nuts and kill,
Jonny D

Picky awards.

Oh dear god, I got nominated for seven picky awards. This is the best thing ever I am gonna get to shoot argus the tormentor and drink vinegar and eat gravy sandwiches. I even got nominated for best motion picture with the forbidden. I got nominated for shooting your bodyguard the most times. Well 'll be off Im not an arab has got nominated for best person in the world but trust me he is such a little fat bugger.
See you at the awards,
Jonny D.

The men

Wondering how can just me Freddy T and Kenny G run a buisness well these are the others that help with Jonny D LTD.
I'm not an arab: Yes okay my secret name is not I'm not an arab it is in fact anther person. He is the vice manager of Jonny D LTD. He does all the work except Freddy Ts they are both very hard workers.
Argus the tormentor: My bodyguard, I only hired him so I could shoot him in the leg. All he ever really says is I am going to kill Jonny D the @%!!$£?. He also had a number 1 hit with When I find that little crap Jonny D I'll kill him. I personally did not find that song amusing, considering I found his plots to kill me.
Steve: This guy is the messenger from hell he comes and tells me that I am going to hell. He is also a beloved customer for Jonny D LTD.
Shoopy doo ,
Jonny D

games and sites

Well this day has gone well I bought Led Zeppelin II on cd I would reccomend it. Now onto buisness this is weird I dunno what to say well erm I'm thinkin of updating the site like puttin games on if thats possible oh and also If you're reading then go on this site http://myspace.com/tonightequalsdancing/ it is really good \I cannot tell you how I know them ok? Its something to do with family relations.
Who wants games?
Jonny D

My bottom 10

AS you can guess from the name here is my bottom 10:
10- When you get a filling you don't want on you're burger.
09- Christian rock.
08- Health magazines with violent names on so when you buy them no violence.
07- Lego, it always breaks apart.
06- Protesters you cant go anywhere because of them.
05- Writing dead long E-mails it is hell.
04- The no powerpoint on blogger rule I killed myself because of that.
03- Picky computers.
02- Fire alarms go off when the bread is toasting dont go off when the house is burning down.
01- Da da people hounding me to know my name.
Well bye I'll be celebrating 15 posts.
Jonny D

My empire

I so god damn hope that you havent seen Freddy Ts website. However he is my right hand man, but the little bugger hacked my account and then created a new blog. I bet you are wondering who my left hand man is, well his name is Kenny G, no laughing not 1 bit ok. This the part of my blog where I introduce you to my empire and no I am not just a wasted guy who owns a blog.
Well we do these products, cigars and star wars memrobillia now my left an right hand men do most of the work, like paying for my bills and shooting anyone whose taking legal action against me. Well thats Freddy T who does that Kenny G just sits around playing the sax, but I aint gonna fire him because he is quite good at the sax by that I mean crap. Well this is you're tour of my empire please pay me all you're money or I'll get Kenny G to play mwahahaha.
Thank you come again,
Jonny D